ATTN: Single Ladies

One thing that I am wholeheartedly unashamed about is just how much of a fan of romance I am. I will see Katherine Heigl and Jennifer Anniston movies on opening weekend, I will read novels that include phrases such as “my loins were warm with my lust for her” and “I knew she was the one when we both reached for the same tomato purée tube in Sainsbury’s”, I will take an active interest in the love lives of everybody I know and a few people I don’t, I may have already planned almost every detail of my wedding (I’m not yet engaged), and there is nobody alive who “AWWW”s louder than I do when I see a couple of OAPs hobbling around hand in hand.

There are very few times when I’ll mock somebody for being a brave enough person to put themselves out there and make the first move when they are interested in a person, no matter how cringeworthy they come across, but I’m about to. I don’t even need to say anything really (but I will, obviously) as this audio says it all for me.

LOLWUT?

Enticing, amirite? No, no. Not at all. I laughed, I gasped, I exclaimed and I cut myself a bit.

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Woe.

I am out of funnies today. I think lifting up the really thick, heavy pencil at the polling station to put my cross on the ballot paper has sucked the soul out me for I feel a little sad.

If I were a kitten, I’d maybe look like one of these: