My Opinion On…

Foursquare updates, for example,

You’re telling me your location at traffic lights?!?!



How Celebrities Keep Me Up At Night.

I’ve not been sleeping well.

I didn’t want to alarm my nearest and dearest but since May 2009, I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep. I toss and turn; I sweat profusely; I call out for my mother and I have nightmares that frighten me to my very core.

I tried altering my diet and mixing up my exercise regime; alas, these did not do a thing. I drank copious amounts of whiskey to knock me out, followed by swallowing fifteen sleeping pills; alas, this just gave me a hangover and a stomach ache.

I often sat down perplexed, looking wistfully into the distance wondering what the issue was, as having these troubles continue for longer than a year certainly indicated towards a concern I had buried deep down into my subconscious.

Then – eureka! – like a teenager discovering masturbation for the very first time, I felt the giddy excitement of a problem being solved. I didn’t have family, relationship or financial woes but there was an answer to one question I needed answering and my body wouldn’t let me sleep until I got it.

Why did Peter Andre divorce Katie Price?!?!

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