I’ll put my hands up; I was a right nerd when I was a teenager. I went from a Ja Rule loving loser at 13 to an emo poet at 15. Which is, basically, just me becoming a bigger loser.

You know the trend with big, black-rimmed geek glasses? Yeah, I was way ahead of that. Except, back in the day, I couldn’t really find any so I’d use prescription glasses and just poke out the lenses. I lost count of the amount of times my brother just used to come up and flick me in the eye. Dick.

I took photos for MySpace from one angle (still sort of guilty on that, I only have one good side) and would buy Terror CDs hoping to impress people even though.. well, have you heard Terror? It really is Terror(able!)

I used to have a Power Rangers backpack and stationary set (AT COLLEGE!) because I thought I was commenting ironically on popular culture but I was probably just looking like a twat.

I also used to stalk boys in bands and try to get them to love me because I thought my tortured soul could only be appreciated by a musician. In short, I was a total whiney bint but that’s teenagers for you. They do some weird stuff. They wear shitty make up, scowl at old people and create words I don’t understand. Being a wanker is all part of growing up.

However, there’s being a wanker and then there’s being a total wanker:

Somone give these kids some face wipes, take away their Twilight DVDs and Nightwish CDs and then explain how, probably in about six months time when they decide shopping in  Hot Topic is lame, that twat is going to really regret being asked to be called Wolfie Blackheart on film. Speaking of Wolfie, the guy is 18. And what was that about the dog skull? He’s going to be such a serial killer when he’s older which is lame because I’d be so embarrassed if he got the better of me in a struggle.

Pardon? Waah, waah, waah, they’re not hurting anyone? THEY’RE HURTING MY EYES. And my view of the future. And my ears: At 3:00 – “I don’t believe anyone is just human, everyone has got something else mixed in with them, they just have to actually look inside themselves and find out what it is.” Ugh. Not only is that stupid, it’s just plain wrong.


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