OH, HAI FRIEND.
Remember last night?
You were all “we need to be someone at half past eleven but it takes an hour to get there.” Then you were all “I’ll come and get you at ten-thirty.” And I was all “yeah, OK,” and then you were like “MAKE. SURE. YOU’RE. READY. ON. TIME” and I was a bit like “bitch, I’m always ready on time” and then you finished with “cool, because I’ll be there. If you’re not ready, I can’t wait.”
Yeah? Well. You’re fucking late.