Apparently, the weather is wonderful everywhere but in London today.
I’m living in a horror movie involving the the harshest Catch 22 ever; I need to buy a coat to be able to go outside and stay warm, but I don’t have a coat to wear to get to the coat shop. What kind of fuckery is this? I seem to be harbouring a bit of a sniffle so I think I should stay in, crack the heating up to ‘Carribean Style’ and watch all of these Eastenders episodes that I’ve already seen.
Things I intend on doing today:
- At least two hours of sweet fuck all,
- Wincing everytime Roxy ‘Bride of Chucky’ Mitchell comes onto my TV screen,
- Wondering whether it was a mistake to buy this blouse,
- Hoping someone is baking me a cake.
Things I will try not to do, but spend two hours doing anyway:
- Watching 1970s pornography. Something involving a handyman and a woman in an apron and/or midgets.
I had best get back to my busy day.